(Learn this now and be one of those whose relationship would be a testimony to others)

Sometime ago, I had a bike accident that I would now like to relay to you, for you to understand the part of Knowledge in Relationship cum Marriage.

To be too confident in life, is not always competency, they say.
Myself and two of my friends -a male and a female- were to go to the to bank one morning. When we set to move, my male friend was the one to ride us to the destination. As we approached where the bike was parked he said "I never carried two before o.." I asked "So, would you want to carry two today or I should go find another means?" and he replied "I will, no problem." The lady added that, "If you could take one then you could take two." Which equation was that? Cross multiplication, which never works in relationship. We mounted the bike and he started it; trying to move, he moved fast and we fell. Thank God there was no injury. He said "It was the sand" and so we agreed.

EXPLANATION: When most people start relationships, they promise heaven and heart to keep the relationship up speed. With anxiety and joy of being in one, they jump the gun of patience and they drive the relationship that fast that there would come a problem. Once a problem surfaces, they quickly blame it on a wrong fact they choose. You could hear them say, "Sorry, it is not a mistake on my part. Something somewhere happened and..." Or "I think it's our mood" or worse still they'll say "It's nothing, nobody is perfect."

We agreed with Ben's judgement of incident and we continued. As we were going, the lady, Bisola could not let him rest as she kept rebuking him for his shaky hands. Instead of Ben to admit, he denied it outright.

EXPLANATION: Your partner tells you, you are getting distracted, moving away from the path you set when you started the relationship and you say, "There is nothing like that." He or she tells you you are deviating from the original plan you agreed on, and you say "na na na!" He/she does not want you to renege on those promises and you never understand. All you are interested in is to keep on going on a journey you are not sure where it will end you both.

As Bisola was busy complaining, I was just sitting, swallowing mine own complaints, in other not to make worse the situation.
We got to a place and the bike stopped and it was becoming perpetually difficult for Ben to start it. We asked "Is it fuel, the gear or the clutch?" and he said "It's the bike." I knew exactly what was wrong with Ben: he couldn't handle the clutch well. And what did we do? We had to agree with him again, since I was just a learner.

We got off the bike for him to start and then we would join him. He started it and couldn't move it easily. We were on this for few minutes as all eyes were on us. Now thank God he just started it, so we moved. What happened like 7seconds later? The bike fell and I got bruises on my right arm as Bisola hit her ear on the ground. The front part of the bike spoilt a little. We parked the broken parts inside a back pack with us and we thanked God. While we were doing that, Bisola had walked some metres ahead of us, that I had to walk so fast to meet her. Ben took the bike all alone to the bank as myself and Bisola walked to the bank, a journey of like 20minutes.

EXPLANATION: When you fail to do your part in a relationship, your partner senses it and brings it to your attention and you deny it outright. Like Ben, have not mastered "relationship clutching:" you don't really know when and how well to stop and when to start, you just think everything will soon has its end in Eden. She keeps telling you that, but your priceless ego wouldn't let you admit. Your mind is focusing on your destination and yet you have not learnt how you would drive towards there. Then you are surprised he/she walks away when you have failed to meet the requirements. You've wounded a part of him/her and you don't know. You probably must have punctured his/her heart and he/ she's left bleeding. By now you understand you've only learnt how to take or "carry" only yourself. LEARN NOW.

When we got to the bank, we decided to make a joke out of the Scene and here is what Ben said. "Lekan(talking to me) you were part of the cause of the accident because of your weight." I could not help but laughed out loud when I heard this and then I said "What if you have carried Funke instead of me, a corper like us, who is times two of my size?"

He waved that and faced Bisola again as he said "Bisola, you should have trusted me. You pushed it too hard that I did not get myself. Remember we climbed that mountain together?"
Bisola laughed and Replied "Mountain indeed. I should have trusted you when I knew you were unstable and there was a good chance we were going to fall? I saw it coming but I did not act on time"

EXPLANATION: This is where the problem comes. No one wants to take the blame, even the one who have not learnt how to "carry two" wants to answer Mr innocence. He sees everything as the fault of others and so blame them. You knew you could not carry two and you tried it. TRYING TO GAIN AN EXPERIENCE? Maybe not! Now you know that the load of the other person affects your stability and you wanted it in the first place. And because you've brought him/her to the other side of a mountain that arised before, provided a ground for you to be blindly followed? YOU ARE WRONG!">

Many of us are like Bisola, we saw it coming and never jumped off as we recite "A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN A BROKEN MARRIAGE." We just intuitively think that everything would be alright. How will you ever do the same thing over and over again and yet expect a different result? I dare that thought of yours!

Now listen:
People say experience helps and what if you die at the moment? I am sure, Experience never makes a phoenix out of you. You goof it, you goof it!
There is a Yoruba adage that says "The one on whose head a coconut fruit is broken, would not wait to eat out of it."

"Any relationship built on Uncertainty Principle will have its end answer to the law of diminishing returns."~A.O.A

"Experience is the best teacher for a fool, and not for the wise"
is the original version of that clich. It is a fool that always learn from experience rather that acquire enough knowledge.
Study to show yourself approved unto God is what the bible teaches. Approved in all sense of life. Yes!

A lady was chatting with a friend and she was telling him he would not understand marriage or relationship as he was still single. He showed me the message and I decided to help him reply this way: "Young lady, you think experience is the best teacher right? Let me shock you: the bible says "MY PEOPLE ARE DESTROYED FOR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE"(Hosea 4:6) Because of EXPERIENCE? No!

Knowledge they say, and not experience, is power. If I ask you of one of the greatest speakers on relationship and marriage in the bible, I am so sure your answer will be Apostle Paul. Remember he was never married. So the fact that you are in a relationship does not make you knowledgeable more than the singles. Knowledge is not relationship based but access based!" You know what her reply was? "Yes sir"

Again, I learnt recently that, several decades ago, the Americans all got concerned when the Russians put the first Sputnik satellite up in space. Then they spent billions of dollars to get ahead of them is space race and to put the first astronauts up there. However, when their first astronauts went up into space, they didn't get very far. They barely got out of the earth's atmosphere, entering only into the very edge of space.

Why didn't they go farther? Why didn't they go to the moon on the first try? Because they hadn't been out there before. They didn't know how to maneuver in space."

In the same way, some have only gotten to the edge of making a relationship works. They don't know how to get along. They never learnt how to maneuver in relationships.

Answer this: What experience will you get if you plan to have your Summer inside the Sun? You will get burnt because you'll never return alive. Then people will learn through you; that's it!
Experience is never the best way to learn in relationship, so don't rely on it. Rather Thrust your life on KNOWLEDGE POWER. It is by that only that your relationship could work. KNOWLEDGE IS "THE KNOWING EDGE": it is that which gives you the edge in your relationship. So seek it.

How many percentage of Marriage and relationship is working? Them did our parents and our friends not have enough experiences? Of course they did and still are having them, and yet marriages are in shambles. If you KNOW how to make your partner happy, why would you want any experience for that anyway?
Know/Learn ways by which your relationship would stand rather than wait a lifetime for an experience that won't help.
What cause many break-ups are experiences, and not knowledge.

To him/her that hath an ear, let him hear this saying.
If you check well now, the ball is in your court. Play it well. Peace.

WRITTEN By Adegoke Olalekan Adebumiti.